(no subject)

i'm really frustrated lately

mostly by myself

in fact almost entirely by myself

i've wasted $99 on this do-at-your-own-pace online course thing which i have to pay access to, monthly

the first month has passed without me doing shit but buying the books

then out of the blue one of my old clients asked me to do a job for him and i, stupidly, agreed a week ago and haven't done much at all towards it (and he's one of those people that expects everything yesterday, so i'm sure my inbox is full of mad emails from him even tho i never take payment up front, so i'm not even looking at it)

i just can't do it

i just can't do anything

i feel like i'll never be able to work or have my own life again

i'll just waste time playing games and drawing and writing things no one'll ever give a fuck about to escape

my parents will eventually die and i'll inherit this filth and i guess at that point i kill myself

that's my plan for the future

i'll never meet anyone, never make any friends, never have a family, never even move out