(no subject)

[superuser]

things i need to do (posting here so i don't lose it)

• call 540-489-7500 to register with the free clinic. i have my tax info and proof of residency. make an appointment
• when i go, get a new prescription for my allergy meds, and a referral to see someone about depression/anxiety/adhd
• get quotes from some different car insurance places because geico's fuckin ridiculous
• redo my resume, submit it to a bunch of local temp agencies in rocky mount, martinsville, roanoke
• make wpcraft.com, start from a template, write content
• design a few faux sites for portfolio
  • small press + some fake book covers
  • comic book store
  • generic labcorp-y site
  • dog kennel
  • pest control 

i'm really, really torn about trying to go to school full time or work again. if i do go to school, i want to go full time, in person, which would make having any kind of job really difficult unless i can manage to crack the whip on myself and do freelance again. honestly, in  a lot of ways freelance works out best for me, but.. i'm so lazy, undisciplined and unfocused it's really hard for me to work in an unstructured way.. sigh

i wanna become the 'designer + developer" everyone seems to want, which means i mostly need to focus on  being able to do design on demand and not angsting over it for ages, getting decent with front end javascript, and getting deeper into wordpress, php and ruby (nothing fancy, just dumb basic stuff) 

i'd also kind of like to move away from development all together and get into more IT stuff maybe.. i dunno, it seems less stressful 

i dunno if i can support myself on freelancing while trying to get all my certs and crap tho. i'd like to get a part time IT job somewhere that's willing to let me learn the ropes, but around here that's kind of a laughable idea

Comments

[thatsongperson]

I know what you mean about needing structure to work productively--I can be really disciplined and hardworking in a dance studio or skating class where there's a very specific structure and goal, but it's really hard to transfer that work ethic to other things... I honestly think a lot of public school/extra curricular are meant to prep people for becoming gophers and at ease with menial jobs. You do really structured sets of tasks in a really structured environment, and then you get thrown into post-secondary or the workplace where you're expected to just transfer one kind of disciplined work habits to another that has nothing to do with how you were taught. And it ends up being an "if you can survive you survive" type situation in a system that already deliberately disenfranches certain people while privileging others.

SORRY wow, I just have a lot of dislike for Western school systems.

I hope whatever you decide on ends up working out. :[ /hugs

[superuser]

yeah, whenever i had a job i could focus and get stuff done if it was something i felt like i could do and i had specific goals and stuff, but i'd get way off course if i started to get distracted because i was bored, had nothing to do or felt overwhelmed by whatever i had to do

at home, since i'd have to do all my work on the same computer i do all my screwing off on, it's just way, way too easy to get distracted

i dunno if it was school or lack of school that messed me up tbh

[thatsongperson]

yeah, that's the same with me, and why I found getting a laptop helps so much... when you've got so much to do at the same place it's just so much easier to goof off, since it's so easily accessible

I don't mean to say "you didn't miss much" because there's a whole lot the education system provides that people don't get elsewhere (and people on Tumblr who say school/the education system is worthless annoy me), but there's so much that's broken :[ shit kinda sucks